6:30 am

I never thought I’d be happy to be “sleeping in” until 6:30 am. 

My kids are not great sleepers. My older boy Michael (3) rarely gets up in the night, but bedtime shenanigans are getting to me. He is also walking into our room anywhere from 5:15-6:30. That’s why today, for a weekend, 6:30 is pretty good.  Thank goodness the mornings are getting lighter.

backyard about 7 am

Thomas (11 m) is still working on sleeping all night. He’s done it about 5 times in his whole life.  It’s frustrating but so often I just found it easier to nurse him than let him cry. The sleep books say not to, and I understand now why dad trying to cuddle him just doesn’t work. What did anyone do before sleep training books?? Ugh, always feel like nothing works. 

At least the little guys can keep themselves busy for a few minutes in the mornings. I can have my coffee, and vent a little. And feel tired. For the rest of my life. 



I had such a rough night last night. Baby was up at midnight, wouldn’t settle and seemed to have an upset tummy. Nursed him and fell back to sleep.
Then I was dreaming very strange dreams. What is scary in the night seems silly in the morning, but it was enough for me to wake with a scream and crawl into my husbands arms.
Basically I found out there was a hit man after me and my children.

The rest of the night was also fitful. Dreams of secret meetings with anonymous people giving me “information”. Bizarre emails and texts.
Something is definitely bugging my subconscious. I know myself, when I get stressed about something, it usually comes out in nightmares. If things are really out of sync, I get the occasional panic attack. Luckily those are now rare, not like the year I finished nursing school and started working.
Now, I think I’ll take a little me time, reflect and relax. The answers will surely come. I’ll need lots of coffee today.