‘if anyone reads this-just enjoy everything”

I have been doing a little more old diary reading. I’ve just been so nostalgic lately. I think I just feel time is going so fast, I don’t want to forget who I was. 

http://youtu.be/Pb-K2tXWK4w

 I’m not a huge Taylor Swift fan, but her song “fifteen’ can bring tears to my eyes. Somehow this song just really brings to life the wonder of being fifteen and being in amazement of everything happening to you for the first time. I really like these verses. I can’t tell you how many nights I twirled and danced in my room after a date with a boy I really liked.

“And then you’re on your very first date and he’s got a car
And you’re feeling like flying
And your mamma’s waiting up
And you’re thinking he’s the one
And you’re dancing ’round the room when the night ends, when the night ends

‘Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You’re gonna believe them
And when you’re fifteen and your first kiss makes your head spin around
But in your life you’ll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team
But I didn’t know it at fifteen”

Now let me be clear, I was a very naive, immature, childish, defensive teenager for the most part. But I didn’t know I was those things. That’s truely the beauty of youth, you don’t know what you don’t know.

However, I did have little snippets of wisdom. I was happily surprised at myself. This was an entry from March of 1995. I was 16, and mad about a boy I liked who didn’t like me. (this happened a lot).

IMG_8515

“you will feel a lot more hurt in a lifetime than what this is”

So true. Yes, boyfriend heartache was rough, but there is so much worse. In the 20 years since I wrote this, I’ve had my heart broken in more ways than I ever thought possible. But I’ve also felt more joy than I knew existed.

Here’s another great quote from the same song.

“When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now”

And here’s another little diary entry from March 1999. I was 20, and just finishing my second year of nursing. I was having one of those nights. I was trying to figure out who I was and where I was going.

'if anyone reads this- just enjoy everything"

”i wish I had the chance to talk to ‘me’ now when I was younger”

Oh, and I felt ‘old’. At 20. 20!

It actually feels good to go back and read all this. Even if some of it is laughable now. I was so boy crazy.  I just shake my head, it’s kind of embarrassing. But its who I was. Who I am. Maybe when I’m 60, I’ll read this blog… and wish I could talk to that young new mom, and tell her to just enjoy everything. 


Advertisements

Quote for today. And some wine.

I like this quote, but I find it hard. Of course things coming to an end are sad. I guess it’s another way of saying “look for the silver lining”.
It’s been a quiet week. Just making it through these winter days, feeling like spring may never come. I won’t be crying when winter ends, that’s for sure.
When the groundhog comes out in Saskatchewan, we hope and pray for ONLY 6 more weeks of winter.

Ugh. Good day to put some roast beef and potatoes in the oven. Turned out nice, medium rare with some BBQ spices rubbed in. Gravy was also excellent. (At least I thought so, I love gravy).
Opened a bottle of red. Per chance, it may have been sitting on the shelf a little too long. Learning a new lesson: don’t hoard wine.
It was still alright, dark red with some smoky spicy notes. Fruity (yet alcoholic) bouquet.
I’m sure we’ll finish it.

IMG_8344

Life is short and fragile.

Recently my cousin was diagnosed with stage 4 non Hodgkin’s lymphoma. What started as a sore swollen calf, it was quickly learned she had lymphoma which had also spread to her kidney.
It was a rough year for her, going through a divorce, going back to work, and raising her two kids.
Being the same age, although living in different cities, we stayed close.
She sent me a text with updates on her situation.

IMG_8259
She died the day before she was to start chemo. Sadly, she didn’t even get to fight the cancer, it spread to other areas within a couple weeks and she died of a blood clot in the lungs. It was quite shocking she died so fast.
I felt so guilty I didn’t text her more. I was planning on sending her a small gift, just to let her know I was thinking of her. Didn’t have the chance. I was going to donate to her “wig fund” which she never even needed.
One more reminder, life is short. I’m going to try to stay in touch with the rest of my cousins. ( even though we were never as close).
I hope I stick to my goal of living for today.

Happiness Quotes

I am always trying to find ways to stay upbeat and positive.
I find I have a problem with envy. I want that new kitchen.
It’s getting easier to remind myself that material things really are just that. As my husband tells me ” granite countertops may excite you for a few weeks, but they won’t bring you real happiness.” It’s true. We can afford fresh food, and enjoy cooking together. These things can make me happy.
Plus, my kitchen will always be messy, no matter how fancy it is. I hate cleaning.

IMG_8210
So I’m trying hard to love the life I have. Stop comparing. Making the best of things. I really am fortunate.

Enjoying wine: AKA “the only juicing diet I will partake in”

Being new to the whole blogging thing, I’ve just started browsing topics I enjoy. I’ve been reading a lot of blogs that mention wine.
I’m feeling like this is a very important topic in my life.

I love wine!

Red and white.
I love the movie sideways.
A few years back, my husband and I went on a wine tour in Kelowna , B.C.
It was wonderful to just sip wine, and trek through the vineyards.

IMG_8204

IMG_8203
We had so much fun, it was before we were even engaged! We brought home a lot of wine with us!!
One of my favourite vineyards was Rollingdale.
It was small and intimate and had an amazing Ice Wine.
I hope to make it back some day.

Quote of the day.

I find this the most appropriate quote, in any given situation. When my kids are sick. When summer brings a hot stretch of days. My maternity leave. Toddler tantrums.


I love this quote. I repeat it to myself often. IMG_8171 Good times, bad times, it all comes and goes. Smile and breathe!