April 13- #100 happy days 

 Cooking makes me happy! I’m so glad I know how to cook and enjoy making meals. Both my husband and I have always had fun in the kitchen. He is by far the more adventurous one, finding recipes and coming home with odd ingredients. I usually stick to favourites, but rarely use recipes. I’m always adding this or that, or using a recipe as a guideline and making substitutions as I see fit. Probably why I don’t like baking. Too specific. 

Well tonight was a simple fish fry, but came together nice with purple cauliflower, low mein noodles and Sauvingnon Blanc.  

 

The End is Here. 

Today is my last day of maternity leave. After a wonderful Easter long weekend, I will be going back to work tomorrow. We had a fairly quiet weekend, some visiting, church, family time and big meals.  

 

I’m trying really hard to deal with the panic that has arisen in me these last couple days. It’s obvious I feel a little scared to go back to work, nervous about leaving the boys and all the changes. That stuff I can handle.  But these little “episodes” of true panic are a bit different. I haven’t dealt with this in over 12 years, since I finished nursing school. 

It’s so, so hard to put into words. Partly physical, partly emotional, mostly I just don’t feel like myself, and don’t know if I ever will again.  I feel a little short of breath. A little light headed. An urge to cry. Doom. Snowballing thoughts. Basically I feel shitty, and worried. Pissed off I can’t handle it all better. Thinking “maybe I really am sick? Is it a PE?” It’s all so irrational, and I can tell myself it’s irrational, but nothing helps. And repeat. 

The thing is I know what’s causing it. I’m coming to terms with a part of my life ending. Just like when I finished school, I realized a life long goal has been met.  Now, my goal of having babies has been achieved. I no longer have to wait, look forward to pregnancy, birth and newborns.  I always wanted to get married and have a family. Now it’s done.  This won’t happen again. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not longing for more babies, or wishing I could stay home forever. I am happy to start work again, and find my job very interesting.  I’m so fortunate to be able to work part time. I also am very excited to watch my boys learn and grow. I think I’m just having trouble realizing life is now changing as I enter a new stage. Unfortunatly, knowing why doesn’t make it go away. 

I’m not sure how I’m going to do it tomorrow but I know I will.  My husband is the most amazing man and supports me without question. He is truly my best friend and we love each other so much.  I just want to feel better and get so frustrated. But for now I’ll just ride this roller coaster and hope it stops soon.  Looking for peace wherever I find it. Enjoying the small things.  

 

Summerhill Pinot Gris 2012

We tried this bottle of white last night. Not with a meal, just throughout the evening. I usually “sip” white wine in the summer, and stick to red in winter, but we felt like something different. 

It was very good! And excellent on its own. I expected it to be a bit lighter, but was happy overall. Here’s my not so professional review. 

Colour: light gold

Nose: fruity, but smooth, slight lemon. 

Taste:  I found it to be almost creamy/buttery at first. Rich peach and pear. Stephen thought mostly fruity taste, slight sweetness. 

Aftertaste:  we both agreed on a bit of tartness, some lemon flavours. 

4/5 overall 

The bottle quotes “Notes of white peach, pear, permisson and Meyer lemon.”

I believe we bought this wine on a trip through Alberta, so I’m not definite on the cost, but I’m guessing 20-25$. I would drink it again. Would be lovely on a warm afternoon in the deck. 

Back in 2009, we visited the Summerhill winery in Kelowna,BC. It wasn’t my favourite actually. It was large and impersonal, and I wasn’t too sure what to make of the pyramid on the grounds. I can’t remember what we tasted while there. 





Happy Valentine’s Day! Here’s my love story.

I met my wonderful husband on New Years Eve 2007. It was a party we both almost didn’t attend. A masquerade ball, where the ratio of women to men was about 4:1. I didn’t expect to meet anyone!
We had some mutual friends, ended up talking a lot, and he asked for my number.
Our first date happened a few days later. I really wasn’t sure if I liked him. He was quite different than the guys I usually dated.
But our first date was great! I stayed out later than I planned, and we got along so well.
Our second date went even better.
I guess we both had fun, because we were together a lot after that.

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We got engaged on October 25 th 2009. We finally had a pleasant autumn day and went for a walk by the river. I had a feeling it was coming, and I was pretty excited when he asked!!
We planned our wedding for the following year. September 11 th 2010.
It was lovely. I was so happy I found my best friend to spend the rest of my life with.

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IMG_8368-0We had a wonderful honeymoon in Mexico.
We had bought a lovely house, and enjoying every minute.
We planned a European vacation.
My husband had a surprise for me. He had been saving aeroplan miles for years, and used them all to get us first class tickets. It was fantastic. An amazing trip. Paris, Barcelona, Nice, German Black Forest area ( a lot Steve’s family still lives here) and Berlin.

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While in Germany, I realized something was off. I realized it was more than jet lag making me so darn tired. It was more than new foods making me queezy.
Took the test that morning in the little “hutta” in Ofenburg, and now, life was going to change again!! I was not sure how far along, but I was definitely pregnant. And that part of my life will be a future post!