Shock me again. 

Another blow has come this week. Another flood of memories and a heart wrenching realization that time goes way to fast.  Hit so hard with the awareness that I must see the beauty of life at EVERY.GIVEN.MOMENT. 

I sit mourning the loss of an old friend. We knew each other very well in nursing school. We had been such good friends 15 years ago. But life changes. Time passes. We lost touch. Always meant to “get together for a beer”.  Dammit, she only lived a few blocks away, why didn’t I make an effort!?

I don’t even know where life took her. We hadn’t seen in each other in about 6 years. I don’t know why she killed herself, and I’ll never know the struggles she faced. In all honesty, I didn’t know her anymore, but I ever thought she had any depression, or problems with mental health. She was a carefree bubbly girl. She loved nature, coffee and cherries. I still remember her apartment vividly. I’ll miss you Mel, and think of you often.  



2 thoughts on “Shock me again. 

  1. It’s hard to lose a friend but very hard to lose one when you didn’t realize they were fighting a terrible battle. Cancer can be seen but mental health is hidden, under resourced and the elephant in the room. Please accept my condolences and please try not to feel that you let her down by not phoning — sometimes even if you are right there they won’t talk to you. Trust me that I know all this from
    First hand experience. Did you read a blog post of mine in sept — the 28th — heck if I can remember the title but it is about my close friend’s battle with depression . It’s tough to live with and beside.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Bernie. She was a wonderful nurse, and it seems as her depression escalated, it effected her job. Losing her passion for work was something she could not handle. Many tried to reach out, but I guess her plan was meticulously set out. I try to think of mental illness being the disease that took her life, not just her making a choice to end it.


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